Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
