giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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