I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
