I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
