"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
The air was thick with penises
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
