Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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