You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
