Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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