there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
