I've blown a few things in my day
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
