Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Can i not drive my cunt home
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
