cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
