Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
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