that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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