I love black thongs
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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