If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Randomize
