Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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