I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
