I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just pee around me
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
