So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
