just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
