lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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