he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Small penises have feelings too.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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