If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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