Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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