Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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