I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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