Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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