No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
