My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
