Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
