That's intense
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
