You really coming over, don't trick.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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