it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
