Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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