I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
