The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I need moral support for this bender
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
