i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
