That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
