it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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