i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Im part way to drunk.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
