is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm getting married
To pizza
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
