You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
