She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
