I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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