last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
