i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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