Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
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