HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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