so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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