I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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