Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
