I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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