so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I think a kid would responsible me up
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
