I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
