tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
