There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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