I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I wear drunk well.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
