i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I intend to get homeless drunk
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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