FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
