Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
