thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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