A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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